Off With Her Head!

I have not written since early April. I have no real excuses but I do know that I have kind of fallen down a rabbit hole. From what I have read while wandering the tunnels of said rabbit hole, I have discovered that I am experiencing what many beginner bloggers experience. I have gotten caught up in trying to find out the secrets to being a successful blogger and have been sucked into a vortex instead.  

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Do you realize how many blogs out there are just about how to blog better, faster, more successfully, how to get the perfect photo, what to copy-write, what to do when someone steals your stuff- writing, blogging, pictures, how to make money, make your blog more attractive, more ways to become famous, how to attract thousands of readers and find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Well, that is exactly what happened to me.  

Renovations

I have been struggling with an issue for a while about this whole “blog” thing. I have called it Unaccounted For, So Far for a reason. I feel I should have accomplished more with my life by this point, that I still have things to do.

Yes, I am a mother, and I worked hard at raising my kids to be adults who have good values and I am very proud of them. I have worked hard to be a wife that is loving and supportive to my husband. I was a good daughter who helped my parents with the unexpected crises and struggles that came during their declining years. I helped them to remain independent for as long as they safely could. I helped them ease into their final days with sensitivity and love so that they would meet God and join each other and their other loved ones again. I am not saying that I was perfect at any of these, but I tried hard.

My First Love Affair Part 1

This is one of my memories told in my own rambling way.  It isn't the end of the story, but it is the beginning. I hope you enjoy it.


We had a piano.  It was one of those giant old upright pianos. It started out living in our dining room before my dad built cabinets along the south wall of the room for china and all manner of other stuff.  I don't remember it not being in our house so, it probably was there before I was.  At some point my mother told my dad to paint it.  So he did.  He used a couple of colors (or several, I am not sure).  Anyways, the piano turned out looking like a beige faux marble art project.  And it was clear that he was in a hurry because there were drips that hadn't been smoothed out, spots that were thicker than other areas and it just didn't look good.  Of course, by the time he had painted it, the piano no longer lived in the  dining room.  It had been relegated to the "back room". You will just have to trust me that I will tell you about the "back room" at another time.  The main thing that you need to know is that it was not even close to being in tune, ivory was missing off several of the keys and it was in a cold room.

Courage, Fear and Faith

The days are difficult.  They call for courage and faith-Thomas Merton

I started to put together these thoughts a few days ago, but this morning in church Pastor Dan helped me finish my thoughts.  I have also been collecting quotes from all the reading that I do and have included some of those.

I don't feel very courageous.  I am afraid much of the time.  I need to remind myself that people that have shown great courage were also afraid.  They still acted.  Courage requires some kind of action even if I am afraid.  I need to have faith that those actions will overcome the difficult days ahead of me.
I am physically weak, beaten up, and it would be very easy to give up, to sit down, to lie down and not get up.  What is difficult right now for me is walking up the the stairs, standing for any length of time, moving around and breathing deeply.  I am afraid, afraid that I will hurt, afraid that I will get stuck and not be able to get back to my car, my home, my chair.  I am afraid that I will have to get a needle poked into me again.  So many needles!  Please, no more needles!

I Can't Find My Blog

I have avoided it for as long as I can.  I have set up special spaces in the house.  Moved those spaces.  Filled them with all my little chotzkes to make the space perfect.  I found the perfect chair, that didn't turn out to be perfect.  Found another chair.  It still isn't comfortably perfect.  Found the perfect pens-Pilot V7 rolling ball, fine point, blue.  The perfect paper.  Yellow pads from Costco with heavy cardboard back.  Sams doesn't have the heavy cardboard back.  I have filled notebooks with quotes.  Read inspirational materials to help me get ready.  I even set up a beautiful blog page with a perfect title, Unaccounted For, So Far.  It has a beautiful background with Cherry Blossoms on it.  It is perfect.  I have every office supply that I could ever need.  I was finally ready.  I had talked about it.  I had planned for it.  I had it all set...